id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
