I just pynch a tree in the face
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Randomize
