My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
