Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Randomize
