Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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