He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
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