your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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