this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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