I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
