Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Randomize
