Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
