Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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