I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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