i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
Randomize
