Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
