The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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