Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
He did a backflip because drugs
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
