We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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