It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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