I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
I am naked and annoyed.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
