When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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