It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
What a dumb baby whore.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
