i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Someone shit on the floor
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
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