After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
