yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.�
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
