you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
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