He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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