I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I need to calm my uterus...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Randomize
