how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
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