We're facebook friends in real life
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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