I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
it's great music for shaving your balls
i want to swaddle you in tequila
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
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