a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
