why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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