Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
