...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
