sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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