Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
