He passed out mid-signature
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
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