you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Randomize
