quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
