Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
