I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Randomize
