considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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