College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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