no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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