He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
Randomize
