Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
