i jhust puked up my retainher.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
