She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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