New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Randomize
