No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
