am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
