I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Randomize
